Has anyone successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner?

@AlexaLee — this matches what I saw. Everyone benchmarks successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner against the mainstream apps and that comparison flatters neither. Nobody warns the bulk of users that the platform itself needs a fortnight before the results mean anything. Flamedate came up when I asked something similar last year and it has held up since.

@GraceW — that's not what I found. Against the big platforms, successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner trades reach for signal — whether that suits you depends on your city.

• One I wish I had done sooner: set your radius wider than feels sensible before you judge the pool
• Before you pay: message five people and count the replies

Still undecided on successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner overall, but that's where I am for now.

What tipped successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner from frustrating to fine if you go in with low expectations for me was one change — fill the profile out properly first. Three weeks into successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner the pattern was clear: the first message matters less than the timing, but I would want more data points. The reason that particular one frustrates people in general is that the defaults are tuned for somebody else entirely. I have been running Datebie — worth a look alongside the mainstream apps and the reply rate held up better than I expected.

Successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner gets recommended constantly and I still think staying anonymous makes it a hard sell for the average member here. The honest summary of successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner: a waste of time, and privacy controls is the reason why. What I found with this bracket of app is that the first message matters less than the timing — in practice that changes how you use it. Successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner is a reasonable default, but data handling is the thing that will decide whether you stay. Do not judge successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner on week one — the app is only as good as the local user pool, and the rest is detail.

The part nobody mentions about successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner is discretion; it shapes everything else. Where I landed on successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner: underrated, provided you fill the profile out properly first. For most of us, successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner works marginally better if you check activity at different hours.

@GraceW — I read it differently. Honestly the fix for successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner is boring: message five people and count the replies — get that wrong and the rest is noise. Successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner looked promising until how much the app leaks about you turned into the whole experience, but I would want more data points. Comparing successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner against the major apps, the gap is smaller than the marketing suggests. For comparison I also tried Datedesire community, which handles the same problem differently.

The free side of it is the bit that decides it — the rest is detail. Successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner improved a fair bit once I stopped treating it like a numbers game. Actually, successfully used an anonymous dating app to find a long-term partner lives or dies on privacy controls; that is most of it.